Saturday, July 31, 2004

Graduate : End of the Begining!!!

Its just not another day. I wonder how often this feeling is going to get me over, pick me up the ground and throw me to ectasy, teasing me softly and remaining as elusive as the mirage, telling me that the show must go on and then making me sleepy, making things appear beautiful and then stealing my every time to glance at them. Its just crazy. I can bear all the pain of burning midnight oils, reading someone else's PhD thesis and writing for paper for some journal, whose editor, you feel is an ****ole. Yeah, its happening. In my dreams and in my reality, in my every notion, I think of it. I amliving for that moment and that moment seems to be appearing in the distant horizon of december. I am graduating. I am, indeed, graduating. The underdog is surprising everyone. I will be graduting this december. I applied for graduation this friday and I have started believing that I can do it this december. And if providence is in love with me unlike past, then I may go for a PhD in Purdue. Shreekant and Amar all are all those fine buddies. I can't really wait to be with them.I don't know though, how to celebrate it. If it had been a year ago, I would have grabbed a budwiser, ok may be, more than just one and couple of calls to Vikram, Vineet and all those cell phone no.s lying in my phone book. But, my annual celebration for Teetolism is on, and I really don't want to again start drinking. I am a bad drinker I must admit. Or, rather I was, atleast. But, I made few calls to my friends I guess.

My Father's Name

People, from back West Asia, especially, from India have this problem may be. But, it is really funny to watch some of the activities of them. This guy is there to get a ticket from Champaign to West Lafayette, Purdue and gave his credit card to the Afro-American Girl at the counter.

Girl: What is you father's name?
Guy: Excuse me.
Girl: I asked your father's name?
Guy: (Paused Astonished. With an accented English this time) Why ya need tha?
Girl: To issue the ticket. ( Girl is equally amused and astonished.)
Guy: Why the hell you need my father's name? (Guy thinking...My dad is not single. He is
happily married to my mom.)
Girl: (Angry, annoyed and amazed) I need your first name , Sir. Not your father's name.
Guy: Thats on my credit card.
Girl : Oho...

Witness to this event were Mitrabhanu Sahu and Vikram Jadhao , both doing their PhD in Physics, UIUC. The guy is me. I guess I made a follow up to the blog written by Ankan.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Edward and Dick

Last night, I was listening to John Edwards, who is the vice precidental candidate for Democrats. He is a nice looking handsome chap and also talks good things about terrorism and economy although he is a lawyer. While he was delivering his speech, there was name of Dick Cheney. I was wondering all the time "Who is this Dick?". After that I came to know that he is the present vice president. I wish I have heard name earlier.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Perspicacity and Car

Jeet was with me when we were learning the car this weekend. And he was about to  hit a girl. Jeet was the driver and the girl was furious. He is the biggest flirt I have seen and thank god,  we escaped from the scene.

Girl: You ass**** !! What do you think you are doing? What do you think...
Jeet: I think you are amazingly beautiful.
Girl: Excuse Me !!!
Jeet: I think I was thinking about you and I hit you.
Girl: (Somewhat, soothing ..) You was about to hit me. You learning?
Jeet: (Smilingly) Yeah !!!
Girl: Drive safe, man !!!
Jeet: Yeah, I will.
Girl: OK. Bye and have a nice day.
Jeet: (Still smiling.) I have some other plan.
And we get into the car.

Don't Look at My Pants

This is one of my friends, with whom I happened to go around the campus in some sunny day, few weeks ago may be. Donning the mantle of rebellion, he is a stud with a cocky confidence and hedonism with elan. But, there is this one thing I hate about him. With my limited intelligence quotient, I don't understand the need for him to look at those parts of a girl's body, though I have all my libido as a boy intact. But, every time???  May be the dress designer got the measurement absolutely wrong so that some of anatomy is not covered or may be it is some outfit malfunction !! (Anyway, that happens so often here in US that I wonder who teaches these people math here.)  That is a too silly an excuse for me though. This thing continues when he is having a conversation too. Whatever may be the reason, I would kill the girl if she looks at my pants while talking to me. I just wonder if the girls don't feel the same way.  I do believe girls deserve better respect than that.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Story Behind the Picture

The other day I was talking with someone and he asked me the reason for this draconian measure for preventing traffic from coming to my website. After complimenting for his own wonderful blog, this is not the least expected encouragement from a booboisie like him , but yet I asked why. He was very honest with me telling me that, my lil picture depicting some Afro-american guy is the reason.  Yeah, may be. So true he was.

But this pic has a lot of stories, memories, tears ( !!!!)  , which bind me with my Btech advisor Dr.Amalendu Mukherjee.  The pic has been edited to show only me of course.Dr. Amalendu Mukherjee is one of those rarest of professors, whose company I enjoyed most. He would tell me stories about his son, when I asked him about the Nonlinear Dynamics class, he was taking. When I asked if entropy increase should be taken into account in the chemical reaction modeling problem for information storage, he galdly recited me some Urdu couplet, whose meaning only Khayyam can tell. When I asked him about writing my thesis, he talked about blackholes and distant galaxies. When I meet him in Park and looked into his misty red eyes, he took his eyes off me. When I asked for recommendation for my graduate studies in USA, he talked about the French delegation who were coming to Mechanical Engineering Department for learning Casting and Welding from Dr.Kajal Biswas. This is the happy part of the story.

The sad part began, when I got no scholarship to attend a grad school in US; when I got a B in project eval. When I went to say good bye to him and he asked me for working as PhD in Mech Engg Dept. After such poor performance, when he had given me B for project evaluation,  it was very kind of him to ask me to continue my studies under him. I am really grateful, but I am not shameless enough to continue my study in IIT Kharagpur, where I have been such a loser and that to under esteem patronage of him. In the mean time, I was hearing from some of my batchmates, "Brother-in-Law, what happened?". But, in between those happy and sad stories, there were tears. I cried for something, I cried for someone like a kid showing all tantrums and I got the biggest prize of my life.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

The Ghost of A Pseudo Man

In the middle of the night, I wake up to find there is no bed I am sleeping on, there is no one I am sleeping with , and there is no myself on the bed.  I get up in the morning to get myself into the bathroom (or restroom !!)  and stand before the mirror naked to find out, the mirror does not show me. Probably, lights even don't care to repflect and refract from my skin. I have become may be too porous for the light. My heart has melted into the air and soul, which I never found, was missing. With the open bright sunlight outside and the melancholy in the soothing breeze, I venture out my adventure to my lab. Its morning by now.
There will be piles of unedited programs, randomly placed print outs and my lab mates would ask me " Amit, where the fuck have you been?" I have nothign but a synthetic smile to add, which would send them the reply that I have no interest in them. Then suddenly, someone would tell me my advisor has called me and left a messeage. I would visit him with slow but steady foot and he would say all good words for my effort. I will stick my head to the computer till the rest of day increasing my eye power from 2 to 3 diapter. And as I woudl feel sleep, I will think that its night now and I must go to the apt.
Next day, when I come to lab and ask about the yesterday , everyone would say that I had not been to the lab yesterday and when ask them the thing they asked me yesterday, they would say they don't use the f-word in the lab. May be it was a ghost of a pseduo-man who visited my lab yesterday. 

Ego-surfing With Google

Finally the day has come when I can ego-google and can see my website and my name appearign on the web the same way I wanted. My blogger profile comes first, if you you search me. And then some other Amit Mohanty, who I have never met; and then lol !! comes my SIU webpage. Though it shows as my previous shity geocities page; actually you enter my SIU page. Well, I have placed a redirector link on my geocities page. Yeah my comment on BD's page also comes in the search.

Wanna Check the TRUTH..Click here 


I really feel downtrodden with the situation I am currently having. I really hate when I can't blog. Thesis blue always changes its color and anticipates me to catch it up with me. Though I am done with 50% of my thesis work, many things yet remain to be done. Initially, I was afraid if I will be able make my thesis even a 100 pages or not. Now, I am having so much of work and as I am writing thesis, I have been poured more and more liquid work; I am afraid how I am going to keep my thesis with in 150 pages. I am writing a lot of shit in my thesis I guess. I would have loved to have a more organized thesis. Sensor Fusion, System ID..Man, come on ...Its not an encyclopedia of Mechanical Engineering.

After long time I met Kanchan today. He (yeah..He !!!) is also from IITKGP. With him I feel so much like myself. In KGP where the profanity starts with MAA and ends in the same polysyllabic word, it is a pleasure to talk with him with the same degree of profanity.

Friday, July 16, 2004


What Vijay is to Amitabh B, Rahul is to Sahrukh Khan. It is the most used screen name for Khan films and those were immensly popular back in India and abroad. Being a matured Khan-fan, though I discuss with Vikram how ridiculous some of the Khan movies are; but I do admit that I like him. The way he carries himself off the screen and the way he miscarries on screen and the way he preaches love-funda in his movies.  And, above all his love story with Gauri Khan, his wife. But, I hate this name Rahul.
For someone like me, who pronounces Cricket is my religion and Sachin is my GOD , it is difficult to see Rahul scoring more than Sachin. I hate it.  Again, it happened today. To everyone's surprise, UAE guys got rid of top three batsmen of India, but unlike soccer, a blazing instantaneous spark of excellence can't win you matches. You gotta be consistence. Rahul scored a century and was man-of-the-match.
But, to my utter surprise, it did not hurt me that much as it would have hurt few days ago. Sachin failing and Dravid scoring. Fact is that, some people like Dravid more than Sachin and I love them more than I like Sachin.
Anyway, just hope Saurabh dada stops thinking " Every match is a test for me".And gets back Asia Cup.

Free Priceless Things

Have you ever wondered that the thing which you complain about most, you can't really live without it ? I have , I think. You complain most when you have a lot of anticipation from something and when you have a lot of aniticipation, that indicates you need that thing most in life and can't possibly do away with it. I have a lot of anticipation from Rain. There will be a time, when you think Rain has two facets, may be three or may be it is a multi-faceted thing, but truth is that you simply can't live without it. Biologically, its important and its has a face of humanity and love too, apart from that. As Narasana goes, many priceless things are associated with it.
With no offence to BD, I must admit though the post by him about rain was a universal hit in blogger community; but the thing which was the masterpiece was the comment by Narasana. It reminds me about the fact in life that most of the priceless things in the world are free and just at a inch away from you. OK, a nano-inch away. But, its about opening up your eyes and have a look and then a grab. No point scavenging life for shitty things , as we do, or atleast as I used to do. My priceless thing was so close to me and just that I had to make a move and all happiness bestowed upon me after that. 
It was so nice to find many friends like Narsana and Mitra all on blogger community and writing pieces of their beautiful mind. This guy Saurabh is an awesome awesome guy and his English is better than that of an average American ( No offence Uncle SAM..Truth is truth is afterall. ) Its not about English only, guys are recommended to go to his blogger and find out more about this guy.
Good work Narsana and Saurabh !!!! 

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Does Size Matter?

The engineers and scientists out there in the industry and academia are scratching there head after the dotcom blast and then its collapse. What is the next thing that is going to create the same influx of money into their pockets? Well, if the Wall Street is to be belived then its the NANOTECHNOLOGY. So guys who are researching in that field are advised to be elated, atleast for time being. According to Wall Street, the money into nanotech start ups are flowing in a same way as it was 10 years ago into the software start ups. But, again it also asked to beware of the hype that is created around the start ups.

So, probably after Microsoft, now its NanoHard which is going to make dollar greener. Size does not matter. BD, are you listening?


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

The Price of being Messy

I have been messy since my childhood. Mama used to say life is a box of chocolates and I have been believing her words since then but never ceased to be messy. I scattered my books all around the tiny world of mine which Mama called our home. She did not say a word, but came and kissed my head. I ate sweets on the bed and thus making my dad's pillow haven for ants which would bite his ears. Dad was so fearful, but ironically he came smiled and twisted my ear. I swear Dad was so skillful that it never hurt me.

I never organised my books, I never had my notes ready. I wore someone else's T shirt sometime. I crammed stuffs from Rohit Singh's note book and during job interviews someone else's trouser, someone else's tie. Nothign never fitted me and I never fitted to any job, company folks thought.

I kept my recommendation letter for Stanford under the keyboard of my computer and last date elapsed then I realised I have not applied for Stanford though I wasted my dad's 80$ by completing the form online. By the way my dad earns around 200$ per month in back India. My dad came to know and laughed so much as if I said some joke. I really doubted his mental ability.

So if I am so messy, all fault goes to my parents and my friends who have always encouraged me to do so.

In a grad's life, where everything is procrastinated for eternity, guess how will you feel if you have to redo a old stuff being awake for two nights. I will go freak, man !! And exactly that is what I am now. If you guys are kind enough to go to my research page which starts with an erotic line "Research is like sex..." you will find a link to the paper for IMECE conference. Suddenly after I lost count of where I placed the paper, my advisor asked for the paper and I was like I am dreaming some nightmare or what. Somehow I got hold of the paper in PDF format but yet I had to do a lot of work converting into Microsoft Word. ( If anybody needs any consulatation regarding this, he is most welcome.). Now loss of one night of graduate sleep in mental turmoil and another for working is what I paid for being messy.

But, surely one thing .. I love my parents a lot, and I swear I do, for spoiling me ; and I really like my friends for allowing me to remain unfitted for any good thing in the world. I wish I could say such words for other people.

Again, I have more serious incidents which I can tell you. Had those not been very personal, I could tell you what real price I paid for being messy.

Chicago Erotica

As he graduated, one of my friends here in Carbondale moved to Detroit, Michigan to his cousins; so that he can again lead the same story of a new Desi graduate searching a job. Procrastination will not do anymore. So, we people went to Chicago to drop him off. Then he took a train to Detroit.

Before we could return to Carbondale we had some time to have a look at downtown Chicago. They say if you have not been to NY then you must go to Chicago. Downtown Chicago near the lakeshore is secondmost auspicious place for lovers I guess, Times Square being the Mecca. I heard someone saying "If you have my tears in your eyes and I have yours in mine; then that's more passionate that smooching." But, if you are near Lake Michigan; you don't need no tears, you don't need no kissing. Every moment you spend with your girl at that place will be a redefining moment for you. These are the few rare occasions when I get romantic and cruising down the shore in Chicago is one of them.

But, you can't love when you have an empty stomach. Searching a place , to be more specific a desi place, we drove to Devon Street. It is like India amidst USA. They have got things like Hamdard Medicare, Patel Brothers, Maa Laxmi Jewelleries. And mind you, the gold jewelleries which you find there are 22 Ct. unlike 10 or 12 like rest of US. There is this Gandhi Street and Jinnhan Street, named after father of our nation and father of a friendly neighbouring country Pakistan. There is this place GAREEB NAWAAZ I would recoomend every meat lover to go. The food is cheap and deliciously desi in taste.

Though all my friends were interesting in ogling at summer babes in Chicago, we had to return early , because we had procrastinated the weekend assignments for this Monday night.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Totally New

Vikram has been incorrigibly unpredictable yet a stable chaotic system since his birth. As his own word goes for all of us BAND OF NINE, we all are miserably beautiful, erratically exciting and fuckingly cool guys (including him!!!) . I have been ever jealous of him during my stay with him during my IIT days. My inelegant way of pronouncing the polysyllabic Hindi and English words was the source of constant of entertainment for my wingmates. While, unlike me, Vikram , though hails from the same part of India as do I, can weave webs of words around all of us in a very poetic manner and his eloquence and etymological calibre left me in a unbelievable state of scariness . The phonophobia in me for English and Hindi reasons back me to him. But, time and again his surprising elements through his poems never dies. I got a snail mail from him few days ago (in this age of Internet and all !!!) and this poem accompanied that letter.

Totally New

Totally new to this
I thought I would miss
But then came the target
It was a claen hit

Totally new to that
I thought I was bad
But then came the light
It was a start act

Totally new to act
I knew I would fart
But flew past the first note
And I sang till the last

Totally new to the vast sea
Sure was I to first pee
But then came the king wave
And I stoked a killing spree

Totally new to the act of love
I declared I was a sitting duck
But then came by the prettiest girl
And we redefined the meaning of fuc*

Totally New to the core emotions
Somewhere inside was a starnger me
But then came my first child
A relection set a father free

Moments Unparalelled,
My life unbounded
Unfolded before me
Generation of LOVE.

Everything I did
I did for the FIRST time
Every single thing
Strange except one...

Totally new to this world line
I thought I must have cried
But them claimed my wonderful life
Haven't a smiling man died !!!

Procrastination and Blogger

BD says procrastination is an addiction. Although I could not agree with him more, but I think the biggest addiction is the blogging. Every night, you feel like spending those few precious hours of graduate sleep over bloggin. When you are doing slow simulations in some P3 comp, then you open up blogger to read blogs of your friends unknowingly. And in the end,you realise you simulation has given some wired results, to interpret it you will probably call some PhDs or you will be fainted to unconsiousness thinking that you have to redo the simulation because of some goofy errors. Its all because of blogging. But, I can't do away with it I think. Just 24 hours but I have been addicted to it like BD.

I was reading Ankan's blogs and that PhD qualifier stuff really got a hell outta me. I have yet to appear in PhD quals.

Since last 24 hours I have spent 60% of the time creating my webpage, rather helping BD creating my webpage. And then linking my bloging page to my webpage. Is this meaningful for a grad student? Answer for this question is another question. Do grad student do anythign meaningful? Anyway, I can say I learnt a lot about CSS Style Sheets and above all, it all fun and no work.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Biswanath Dutta and My First BLOG

This is my first blog. I exactly don't understand my feelings now. May be the early morning laziness has made me numb.Now, should I say "Hello World" or just keep writing my first blog as if I don't know no-one? Last few days have been not so pleasant for me with my guide testing my endurance limit and me submitting to his wishes with a smile on face and pain in a**.

Anyway, but in between this dark patches of life, people like Biswanath Dutta comes in from nowhere. Just a phone call to say "hi" or to buzz me at yahoo Messenger. Our undergraduate days have seen us discussing books, SUTTAS, Engineering, SEX and LOVE. We discussed everything. I started doing so many thigns for the first time being inspired by BD, as we all fondly call him. Be it LaTeX or be it my webpage. Yet again he has done it. I am writing my first blog being inspired by him.

So, no "Hello World" for me, its like "Hello BD" for me. I learn many thigns from everyone in the world and more so from you.